You Are a Person, Not a Project - Stop Trying To Fix Yourself.
I read on the internet somewhere that if you are hyper aware of everything that you want to change about yourself, but don’t acknowledge the things about yourself that are amazing, then you’re not actually self aware, you’re just your own bully. After reading that, I made it a habit to consistently acknowledge myself as the complete being that I am. And it’s altered my brain chemistry and the way that I relate to myself for the better.
Across the internet, healing, leveling up and becoming a better person are all concepts that are growing increasingly popular, especially amongst Black women. I think that this is a beautiful thing, but I also think that we as a collective should stop looking at ourselves as projects that need fixing. It feels amazing to become aware of patterns, mindsets, and ideas that may have been keeping you trapped in a state of being that wasn’t ideal. However, it can become addictive to find something about yourself that is “wrong”, making it easier to fall into a rabbit hole of finding new ways to heal.
There’s a quote that says “Don’t miss out on your life trying to get your life together”.
In the same breath, don’t miss out on YOU trying to get yourself together.
You are a divine being. Full stop. The messy, ugly, parts of you are just parts. And there’s a good chance that whatever the next thing that you feel that you need to fix about yourself developed as a way to protect yourself from something harmful.
So here is some advice that you didn’t ask for: Let go of self criticism, and embrace fun as method of healing. Engage in more play, and invite playfulness into your life. Shine some light on the dark parts of yourself, and release the darkness with love. Affirm that healing can be light and playful. Make space for play in your daily life. You’d be surprised at just how much how inviting joy into your life can help you release what no longer serves you.
There will always be something that can be better. Affirm that you are already whole, already worthy, and already enough—just as you are. Embrace your journey with softness, knowing that healing isn’t about fixing yourself, but about ultimately loving yourself more deeply and allowing that love to radiate into your world.
With love,
Alexis